I want to record my thoughts while they are fresh.
As you know last year I had lost over 70 lbs and had a tummy tuck.
My weight loss before this surgery was because I had dedicated myself and pushed.
I made no excuses. I put my time in the gym. If I missed a day, I was damn sure to make it up ASAP.
I logged my meals and kept track using my body media band.
I. micro. managed.
Why?
Because I was learning how to take myself back.
How to eat correctly.
I made appointments with myself in the gym and I kept them.
Work and illness were the only things that kept me out.
But I had all my time in.
And that's how I lost my weight.
Clean eating and putting in the time at the gym.
Since my surgery I had lost sight.
I have been comfortable.
I had lost my sight as to why I had started this journey.
Before when I was over weight, when I had the sagging skin and fat off my body that was left over from pregnancy and lack of proper diet and exercise...
I felt trapped.
I was angry.
I felt unattractive.
I lacked energy.
I was depressed.
I cried a lot behind closed doors.
I avoided going out.
I couldn't keep up with my kids.
I avoided my husband because of how I felt.
I was the definition of negative.
But slowly when I began my journey, in 18 months time I had slowly chipped away these feelings.
95% of them anyway. That 5% left kept me going daily.
But when my surgery came...
I got comfy.
I saw the fix.
My journey had blurred and I had become stagnant.
That has been the last 6 months of my journey.
I have been in a state of comfort.
The scale has budged between 8-10 lbs only because I have been eating what has been needed to stay maintained, and I have had minor workouts sporadically.
Talking to my trainer today -- it was a boost Ive needed.
A very strong reminder.
Do I want to feel like I did before?
No.
Why do I workout and eat clean?
Because it's to better myself.
To be strong and happy.
To further myself from where I was.
To never, ever, EVER feel like I had when I first started this journey.
To show my kids what is healthy and being strong is a great thing.
To get my dream body, and it no longer just be a dream.
To inspire others to not only get outside of their comfort boxes, but to shred those boxes into a million pieces because you can F*King do it!
I have shared photos upon photos since September and I have been so giddy over that, but I really fogged out of my focus at the same time.
I'm crying as I type this because the drive and motivation to get back on track have never been so crystal clear since. Thank you, Joe for reminding me earlier why I started this.
Leg day Tuesday reminded me how out of I have been.
I'm now ready to get focused.
No more excuses.
No more stalling.
It's time to get shit done.
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