I got comfortable.

I'm writing this on here as I just hung up with my trainer, Joe.
I want to record my thoughts while they are fresh.
As you know last year I had lost over 70 lbs and had a tummy tuck.
My weight loss before this surgery was because I had dedicated myself and pushed.
I made no excuses. I put my time in the gym. If I missed a day, I was damn sure to make it up ASAP.
I logged my meals and kept track using my body media band.
I. micro. managed.
Why?
Because I was learning how to take myself back.
How to eat correctly.
I made appointments with myself in the gym and I kept them.
Work and illness were the only things that kept me out.
But I had all my time in.
And that's how I lost my weight.
Clean eating and putting in the time at the gym.


Since my surgery I had lost sight.
I have been comfortable.
I had lost my sight as to why I had started this journey.

Before when I was over weight, when I had the sagging skin and fat off my body that was left over from pregnancy and lack of proper diet and exercise...
I felt trapped.
 I was angry.
I felt unattractive.
I lacked energy.
I was depressed.
I cried a lot behind closed doors.
I avoided going out.
I couldn't keep up with my kids.
I avoided my husband because of how I felt.
I was the definition of negative.

But slowly when I began my journey, in 18 months time I had slowly chipped away these feelings.
95% of them anyway. That 5% left kept me going daily.
But when my surgery came...

I got comfy.
I saw the fix.
My journey had blurred and I had become stagnant.
That has been the last 6 months of my journey.
I have been in a state of comfort.

The scale has budged between 8-10 lbs only because I have been eating what has been needed to stay maintained, and I have had minor workouts sporadically.

Talking to my trainer today -- it was a boost Ive needed.
A very strong reminder.

Do I want to feel like I did before?
No.

Why do I workout and eat clean?
Because it's to better myself.
To be strong and happy.
To further myself from where I was.
To never, ever, EVER feel like I had when I first started this journey.
To show my kids what is healthy and being strong is a great thing.
To get my dream body, and it no longer just be a dream.
To inspire others to not only get outside of their comfort boxes, but to shred those boxes into a million pieces because you can F*King do it!

I have shared photos upon photos since September and I have been so giddy over that, but I really fogged out of my focus at the same time.

I'm crying as I type this because the drive and motivation to get back on track have never been so crystal clear since. Thank you, Joe for reminding me earlier why I started this.
Leg day Tuesday reminded me how out of I have been.
I'm now ready to get focused.

No more excuses.
No more stalling.

It's time to get shit done. 

Feb post update.

Hi friends - it's been a few weeks since I last posted. If you're here for the long haul, grab a coffee or some spark and snuggle in since I've got a lot to fill y'all in with :)

We've been so busy here at the house that I just simply haven't had a moment to sit and write clearly.
Anyhow - I am now 5 months out from my surgery now. Loving everything so far except for a couple of areas that are revealing some laxity around my scar (around my hipbones) that may need some revision. I'm not 100% sure what is going to happen yet, but it'll be addressed in the next week or so on what will happen and we will go from there.

I had a call from my surgeons nurse and they said it could either be a teeny touch up, or it could end up being where I need to have my whole incision brought to a 360 around my whole body. I've lost 8-10ish lbs since surgery and my skin by my flanks and hips can get kinda loose so we are going to address that soon.

So current update on weight: I'm 161-162 and hanging in. My goal to reach is 155.
6-7 more lbs to reach my goal, and only 3 to pass this threshold. I graduated at 167 I believe and I'm in a much better spot that before kids, thankfully. I'm also now in size medium tops and size 8 jeans. It feels great! :)

I'm sure by June I'll be in a 6, and that was never a possible thing for high school.
It does feel pretty cool though getting to look around at everything that I couldn't even just a year ago. Actually, I just flushed out my entire dresser and closet for the eleventybillionth time since September and I actually had an emotional break at one point.
Most of my 'tops' were maternity.
I relied on it and had accepted it for so long.
None of them fit.
Not the right way at least.
 I loved those tops in a way because back then I felt good, but looking at it now, I had just accepted where I was and made no effort to push forward. I fast forward to now and have a hard time believing that these left over pieces of my old wardrobe were what kept me mostly together.

And to be honest.
I'm kinda scared to go out and look for a whole new set of comfort clothes.
It's the unknown that kinda is shaking me if that makes sense.

"But Meg, this is a good problem."

Yes, I know that, but at the same time I'm totally starting over and have no idea how to shop for clothes for my body type now, and I have to do it slowly so I don't break our bank lol. I don't even own a bra that isn't for working out. My last bra I bought was a 40D.
I comes now where to fitting me now.. (I probably should go get fitted.)

Anyhow -- I started about a little over a week ago on a workout schedule again.
 Lifting 4x a week with 1 zumba in the middle.
It really does feel great to be doing this again - I missed it terribly.
My goal along with the weight, is to have myself down to an 18% body fat.
My love handle area and hip bones (from the skin loosening up some) and upper inner thighs are my trouble spots. Despite weight loss and skin removal, I still have spots to work on.
 My journey will never end I don't think, haha.
 But that's okay, it's good to have goals to always work on to better improve yourself.
After learning that I can push through anything, as hard headed and stubborn as I am, I think anyone can. You just have to focus on why you're doing it and keep reminding yourself to keep your eyes on the goal, even if you have times that you're slowly inching instead of leaping towards where you're going.
Never. Give. Up. Ever.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a body-building expo and learned quite bit of what it'll take to get myself ready for my first bikini competition. I thought I was close to being able to just cut a little and be ready quickly but that wasn't right at all. I have some diet tweaks to make as well as many hours of work in the gym ahead of me until I'm anywhere close. But I'm way closer than I was a year ago, which is encouraging.

I'm here are my before shots in a bikini. I still need to take the posing classes to get this down, but here I am at around 24/25% body fat.

Here is my current back shot. 

I feel like this was way more defined last summer when I was working out, even when I was heavier.

I've got a lot of muscle building to do, but I can finally put my stuff back up for progress photos. :)

Amongst the chaos, I'll have my husband shoot some professional ones on my next update :)

(And my first single digit pants, my size 8's) 

since moving to TX 9 years ago.

I hope to make these big on me by this summer. 

I'm really curious to see how far all of this will go this year.

In a non-workout realm, we have all survived the stomach flu this week, and are preparing for a birthday party (round one of three) this weekend. Next is in March, and Third is in April.

This little girl just turned 5.

I can't believe it. 

I love you Kaelyn. <3

My hubby and I are also celebrating our 11 year (dating) anniversary.

We've been married now for 6 years, and approaching 7 in July but, we are planing our wedding renewal. Back when we did get married we had a short courthouse one because we had a very low budget and timing with life wasn't where it needed to be to have the wedding we wanted. Well, now that we have our completed family and things are on the upswing, 

we are headed in that direction for next Spring to renew our vows and walk the isle after torturing

(... haha.. )

LOVING each other for 12 years and being married for 8! ;)

 8 is a special number for us that I'll spill on later, but it also represents the infinity symbol and I think it's kinda a cool thing to renew our vows on. 

So between reaching my body fat goal, and planning this wedding renewal...

 I have a lot on my plate for the next year. 

Also, Happy Chinese New Year! :)

There will be more updates very soon. 

XOXO

4 months post and an update on some things.

Hey guys, it's been awhile. 

The holidays took over my life for awhile and the thought of making another post was far from a thought. Working the photography business and keeping up with other things involving family leading up to the holidays accelerated my desperate need for a vacation from all the things!

(My kids in red, and their cousin in blue. He's going to be a big brother this summer! Can't wait to update the group shot, too! 

We find out in 3 weeks what baby will be! So excited!!!)

So let us pick up now!

I'm 4 months post my tummy tuck now!

It's like counting the weeks and months after having a baby haha.

Time is flying by and I'm still loving my results. It really has been a mental life saver.

(A week before Surgery in September, and today 4 months post)

There is a chance however I will be having a *teeny* revision on my scar where I had sutures splitting through during the recovery and leaving a wider than normal scar.

Not everyone has it. 

I just don't sit still and it caused my sutures to turn right side up, not where all the body fluids were, and since they weren't exposed to all of that, they stayed dry and poked back through the skin. A quick snip and a band aid with some Neosporin for a couple of days cleared it up.

 Except I had 8-9 over the 2nd and 3rd month. 

There is also a couple of areas of skin I might have 'hemmed' so to speak above the scar too but with me losing some more weight before Feb, we will see if it is even needed. 

Regardless of the little issue mentioned, I will say since having the 5 lbs of skin dangling on my torso removed, and the 4 finger width gap sewn shut and stable again, my back problems are gone as well! Something I had struggled with after having my first in 2008 up until 4 months ago. 

Thankful. That is a word I can use over and over again for this surgery. 

I will admit, I did go from 160-162ish to 170 over the month of November and December. GAH. 

Oops. I'm currently on day 7 of the Advocare cleanse and I'm back down to 164 (thankfully!) with a much cleaner diet and I've been consistently working out for 3 weeks now. :) 

I can't tell you just HOW nice that is getting to work out again. 

My core feels stronger. 

I can keep up with my kids way better, and starting very soon I'll be back on a competition workout schedule. I won't be doing a bikini/figure competition this year, as I'm taking this whole year to build my body up and prepare myself for my first competition. 

I didn't want to rush things off the bat, as I'm mentally not ready for it yet. 

I want my scar and body to heal some more, and I want to put my body back through the gym and give it time to change and grow once again like I had when I originally lost the 75 lbs. 

Anyone walking down the same pathway of having this surgery, do know that you need to drink LOTS of water, steer clear of empty carbs or you will BLOAT, and limit your sodium. I made that mistake over the holidays and I'm warning you now. You will be pleased to know that, the more you drink and the faster you get the fluids in the drains moving, the faster they come out. I will make an updated post on the do's and don'ts before and after having this surgery soon. Things I learned on my own that I think will help those of you preparing to do the same thing. 

Anyhow, Last week I weighed in at 166 and had a body fat reading of 26.6%

I have roughly, from that number and doing the math.... 

9.96lbs of fat to lose to be 20%BF

13.4lbs of fat to lose to be 18%BF

 (which is where I'd like to be with more muscle weight) to begin my competition prep.

and 16.6lbs of fat to lose to be 16% which is OK for competition. 

Lower I'm sure is better but right now between 18-20% is my goal to sit on at a regular basis.

My goal is to reach 155 right now. 10 lbs. Do-able by the first week in April, right? 

Even with my surgery, some lipo, and all the weight I've lost in the past, I do still have small love handles. They hide well but at times I'm aware of them or feel them and I just don't want to have them any more. Summer time is around the corner and we are getting the girls into swimming lessons before the public pools open and I am very well going to march myself into target and get goo-goo eyed over the bikinis they taunt you with as you stroll on into the store in early January. My journey will never be completed and this is a little area of mine I'm going to work on improving this year. 

Another area that Ive mentioned before is my involvement with Cosplay! :)

I am dressing up for Comicpalooza this year as 

Cammy White, Emma Frost, and Terra from Teen Titans.

 I've always loved cosplay, but never had the confidence to do so. 

After everything I can finally say YES! I'm ready!

 My first cosplay will be ready by the end of this week, my Cammy White from Street Fighter. 

(I'm wearing a modest bottom on her suit as marching around with kids present would be a mixed signal having my butt hanging out haha)

I will update with photos soon once the whole costume is complete. I'm currently preparing to trim down further and build muscle to play this character to the best of my abilities. I wanna really look like her when I debut the costume at the con.

Along side of things, my kids are wanting to cosplay and I'm planning on making them a Star-fire and Raven costume for the girls, and a Robin for my son. I have no idea what the hubby will dress as 

or if he even decides to) but regardless, it's going to be a blast! 

My next post I'll address my before and afters with my Advocare cleanse which is over on Friday, and if all goes according to plan, my plans and updates on weight measurements and my next workout schedule. My coach will be posting on my blog as a guest soon, so stay tuned for that. 

This year has so many big things coming up that I look forward in sharing them with you all and soon. a

Hope all of you are doing well since the holidays and prepping for Valentines day. 

The next rounds of the holidays are coming quick and school is back in full swing. I'll post more soon. :)

Friday!

So this week was one of getting myself back into the gym and boy did I feel it. Monday I did  squats  and today is Friday and I'm STILL feeling it. I'm also retaining fluid like no ones business. 

For those of you who have this same problem after working out hard, your body is telling you that more water is needed. I have been horrible at drinking enough lately. I run a photography business and chase 3 kids. Sometimes I just forget. 

Another thing I've learned too is rest is just as important as the workout. 

But don't confuse rest with a damaging binge diet on those days. 

Rest allows your muscles to rebuild and water keeps you hydrated, there for keeping the water retention down from a crazy peak. There will still be some but it'll be much more manageable. You'll also feel less tired and sluggish., which for me is big since  I've been struggling again recently with my thyroid. I'll probably be getting a n ultrasound on it in January or Febuary to monitor a spot on my thyroid that isn't going away. Oh! Another thing is keep an eye on breads and grains and hug e sodium or sugary items as they can trigger swell-hell, too.

So as Christmas is only  2 weeks away, the craziness is growing and everyone is scrambling. 

Keep up with your hydration and don't throw away all of this years hard work! Let's finish the year strong and charge right into 2015 with some fierce momentum!! 

I also have 3 months to get myself ready to Cosplay Cammy White from Street Fighter  for a comic convention coming here to Houston. Any of you  guys Cosplay? This will be my first time! 

Here's a progress photo of  Cammy so far..

 

And what she looks like..

So I'm not too far off! 

Squats and I will be BFF in order to get ready to portray her best! 

Anyhow, that's all for now! 

Xoxo

Meg

My current {rehab} program.

So last night I posted about my tummy tuck and how

 my trainer Joe has me on a rehab program for getting back in the gym after my surgery.

 Not going to say that anyone can't do this.. 

because if you're not regular at the gym and working out, 

this could be a great starter program for you too. 

I did this Monday, the Stairmaster for 20 mins on Tuesday, 

and Zumba for an hour last night.

My legs literally are screaming treason right now.

For some of y'all out there I challenge you to a gym session at my rehab program and tell me what you think. I have about 4 weeks doing this before I am allowed to jump up on equipment and weights. I my head I'm still where I was at over the summer lifting very heavy, but I realized very quickly this first week back that I am no where near that condition at the moment and that I'll have to work on it for awhile to rebuild.

I'll post progress in a few weeks once I get my next phase! :)

In the meantime, I'll post again tomorrow with more current events.

XOXO

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